


Moments in Time (Stories and Rhyme)

by Settiai



Category: Mass Effect - All Media Types, Mass Effect Trilogy
Genre: Alcohol, Canonical Character Death, Earthborn (Mass Effect), F/F, Friends to Lovers, Friendship, Hurt/Comfort, Mass Effect 1, Mass Effect 2, Mass Effect 3, One Shot, Post-Mass Effect 1, Sole Survivor (Mass Effect), Tumblr: masseffectholidaycheer
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-12-26
Updated: 2014-12-26
Packaged: 2018-03-03 18:01:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,126
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2859911
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Settiai/pseuds/Settiai
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The universe kept moving around her.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Moments in Time (Stories and Rhyme)

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Arbryna](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Arbryna/gifts).



"How are you holding up, Williams?"

Startled, Ashley looked up from where she'd been cleaning her rifle on the mess hall table. She honestly hadn't expected anyone to come looking for her, at least not now that Alenko had disappeared into the medical bay with what looked to be the beginnings of a pretty impressive headache. Most of the crew had been doing their level best to ignore her since they'd left Eden Prime the day before, not that she could blame them. Jenkins had obviously been popular, and part of her couldn't help but feel guilty that she'd made it off the colony and he hadn't.

(She did her best not to think about everyone in her unit. Bates, and Donk, and Jenner, and Penny, and Rasputin, and everyone else in the 212. Because there was guilt, and then there was _guilt_ , and she wasn't ready to think about that yet. Maybe not ever.)

"Williams?"

It took everything she had not to flinch when she realized that she hadn't actually replied to the question she'd been asked. Too much stress and not enough sleep had never been a winning combination for her.

"Sorry, Commander," Ashley said quickly, straightening up. "It's been a long couple of days."

The corner of Shepard's mouth quirked, just a little. "Which would be why I'm asking how you're holding up, Chief," she said, her voice a careful balance of gentle and 'answer the damn question, marine'.

Ashley couldn't help but attempt to straighten up even more at the tone. "I'm fine, ma'am."

She wasn't entirely certain how she'd expected the commander to respond. A nod of acknowledgement, followed by Shepard leaving her to clean her weapon in peace. A look of disbelief and an order to go straight to an Alliance psychologist the moment they landed on the Citadel. A snort followed by some derogatory comments about the Williams family and their history.

What she got was a bark of laughter that seemed to surprise Shepard almost as much as it surprised her, followed by a self-deprecating smile.

Ashley blinked in surprise, not quite certain what to say. Before she could figure it out, Shepard pulled the chair across from Ashley out from the table and dropped down into it. 

"Now I'm starting to understand how Anderson must have felt back in '77," Shepard said, shaking her head. There was something about the look in her eyes that made Ashley think that the comment was aimed more at Shepard herself rather than her.

"Ma'am?" Ashley said slowly, putting enough inflection at the end that it could be read as either a question or a statement.

Shepard seemed to pull herself back into the present like a shot, the slightly distant look disappearing from her eyes. She met Ashley's gaze straight-on, a frank look on her face but also more understanding than Ashley had expected to see there.

"Does the name 'Akuze' ring any bells?" Shepard asked.

Ashley frowned, thinking about it. The name was familiar, now that Shepard had mentioned it, but she couldn't quite remember where she'd heard it. '77, the commander had mentioned. Ashley would have been eighteen or nineteen then, probably stationed at—

—and then she remembered why the name 'Akuze' was familiar, and her eyes widened.

Across from her, Shepard's mouth twitched with what might have been a smile, but there wasn't any humor on her face. "I have a pretty good idea what you're going through, Williams," she said quietly. "If you need an ear, mine's free."

"Thank you, Commander," Ashley said carefully. She'd never been the talking things out kind of woman, but she had to admit that she at least appreciated the gesture. "I'll keep that in mind."

"Which means 'not a chance in hell'," Shepard said, a bit of amusement glinting in her eyes.

Ashley gave her a shrug, not wanting to agree but not quite willing to lie either.

Shaking her head, Shepard put her hands on the table and pushed herself to her feet. For the first time, Ashley noticed the slight tightness at the corner of eyes and the barely noticeable tremble in her hands. Whatever that beacon had done to her, it had to have been bad. But the commander had still taken the time to come check in on her, even though she probably felt like crap and could have used as much downtime as possible before they made it to the Citadel.

It meant more to her than Ashley had expected. She wasn't used to commanding officers paying much attention to her at all, other than the absolute minimum that was required, not after they found out her last name.

"If you decide to deal with things the same way I did after Akuze, Williams," Shepard said, "I'm willing to be there for that as well." That slightly distant look appeared on her face again. "No matter what you may think right now, you're not alone."

Ashley met her gaze again. "Commander?" she asked, frowning.

Shepard grinned at her and held up her hand. "The three Bs," she said, ticking off her fingers as she spoke. "Booze, booze—"

"—and more booze," Ashley said, joining in. She couldn't help but smile back at Shepard, even if it took more effort than it would have in the past.

"We should be coming up on the relay within the hour," Shepard told her. "I hear the Citadel's quite a sight to see. You should come up to the cockpit to see it."

Ashley nodded. "I'll try to be up there then, Commander."

*

Ashley came back to consciousness slowly, her lungs burning and a sharp pain in her side. She went into a coughing fit before she was even fully awake, and she tried to roll over in order to breathe better more out of instinct than anything else. The pain in her side went from somewhat stabbing to agonizing within seconds, and for a moment she honestly thought that she was about to die.

Then there were arms wrapped around her, one of them helping hold her up so that she could breathe more easily while the other gently touched her side. She felt something cold on her skin, and then the pain numbed.

The world around her spun wildly, colors twisting and spinning about in the dim light.

"Williams, can you hear me?" a familiar voice asked.

Ashley closed her eyes, focusing on breathing. She could still hear the familiar voice talking to her, asking her questions, but she couldn't quite place it. Kind of like how she couldn't quite work up the energy to reply to the questions it was asking.

"Williams, answer me. That's an order, marine."

Shepard. The name popped into her head, followed by an image of a face. Skin several shades darker than her own. Chocolate brown eyes and full lips that were almost always smiling. Black hair, cut short and worn in tight twists.

"Damn it, Ashley, answer me _now_!"

Part of her was startled to hear Shepard call her by her first name rather than "Williams" or "Chief". A larger part of her was doing its best to jump to attention.

The tone in Shepard's voice brooked no arguments, and years of training forced Ashley to open her eyes. The world still spun wildly around, but she could at least make out a vaguely Shepard-shaped blob of color kneeling beside her this time.

"Skipper?" she asked. The words were so slurred that she could barely understand them. She licked her lips and tried again. "What happened?"

They were still slurred, but Ashley thought that they were a bit more understandable than her first attempt. Or, at least, she hoped that they were.

The vaguely Shepard-shaped blob leaned in closer, and after a few seconds Ashley's vision cleared enough that it actually looked something like Shepard, albeit a Shepard who was wearing an extremely worried look on her face. One that probably should have concerned Ashley, and that most likely would have if she hadn't been so focused on keeping her damn eyes open in the first place.

"Hey there, Chief," Shepard said, her voice deceptively casual. "What do you remember?"

Ashley started to close her eyes again, to give herself a moment to think, but the hand on her shoulder—when had Shepard put her hand on her shoulder?—tightened its grip. She took as deep a breath as she could, trying to focus. They'd left the Mako outside a mineshaft, she and Shepard and the LT, and then the geth had arrived, and then… and…

"Don't tell me the damn place caved in on us?" Ashley asked with a groan.

Shepard chuckled. It sounded a bit strained, but Ashley couldn't really blame her for that one. "Got it in one, Chief."

Ashley started to sit up, now that the pain in her side was gone, but Shepard's grip on her shoulder tightened and she stopped.

"I wouldn't do that if I was you, Williams," Shepard said. "You got a nice chunk of metal in your side when one of those damn synthetics exploded. The medi-gel is helping, but you should probably try to stay still until the cavalry gets here."

Ashley let out a shaky breath. "Does the cavalry even know they need to come?" she asked. "And don't think I haven't noticed that I haven't heard Alenko's voice since I woke up." She paused for a second or two before adding a somewhat belated: "ma'am."

There was a pause. Then Shepard snorted. "I think that I can let you slide this time, Williams, all things considered." She shifted slightly, as if she was trying to find a more comfortable position.

Ashley abruptly realized that her head was resting in Shepard's lap, which explained why Shepard's arms were practically wrapped around her.

"Alenko was closer to the exit," Shepard said. "The cave-in was localized, so he should be fine. He's probably already radioed the _Normandy_ and they're out there now, trying to figure out how to dig us out."

"I'm sure you're right," Ashley said skeptically.

Shepard made a sound that might have been a choked off laugh. "Not much of an optimist, are you, Williams?"

"What can I say, Commander?" Ashley asked. She started to let her eyes close again, and this time Shepard _pinched_ her. Right on the cheek, just like her abuelita had done when she was a kid who'd just gotten in trouble.

Ashley's eyes shot open.

Her vision had cleared enough that she could see Shepard's face more clearly. Shepard didn't look even remotely sorry; if anything, she looked like she was about to pinch her again.

"Sorry, Ashley, but I need you to stay awake," Shepard said, shaking her head. "The medi-gel dispensers aren't working in your armor. I need you to be able to tell me if I need to add more to that hole in your side."

If Shepard hadn't been her commanding officer, Ashley would have had several pointed comments to make to her. As it was, she just groaned and tried to keep her eyes open.

"Fine," she said, and she had the sinking feeling that it might have come out in a way that made her sound more like a petulant teenager than a marine. "It's your turn then."

There was a long pause.

"My turn?" Shepard asked. She was obviously trying to hide her confusion, but she wasn't doing even remotely a decent job of it.

"To talk," Ashley said. She knew that she was probably bordering on insubordination, but it had been bothering her for weeks just how little she knew about Shepard. This was her best chance to find out at least a little bit about her. "You know all about me, my family, the whole mess. But you never talk about yourself."

There was another pause.

"Maybe that's because there's not really a lot to talk about," Shepard said finally.

Ashley snorted. Then she immediately regretted it as her already spinning vision made it clear to her that it didn't like moving. "Come on, Skipper, there's got to be something," she wheedled. "Can't you grant a dying woman her last wish?"

"If you're dying, then I'm a krogan," Shepard shot back immediately. Her hand on Ashley's shoulder tightened its grip just a little, though.

There was yet another pause, and Ashley started to think that Shepard really wasn't going to say anything. Then she sighed.

"I was born on Earth," Shepard said quietly. "I never met my dad, and I barely remember my mom. Just a few vague memories of a woman with long hair. I don't even know if she died or if she abandoned me or—"

Shepard trailed off, and Ashley immediately felt like the lowest of the low.

"Oh," she said. "I'm sorry, Shepard. I didn't know—if it's something that you really don't want to talk about then—"

"It's fine," Shepard said, cutting it. "You're right. After everything we've been through, you of all people deserve to hear it."

Ashley couldn't stop herself from smiling as she settled back to listen to Shepard talk. At least until the others arrived to dig them out.

*

After they got back from Ontarom, Shepard ordered Joker to head to the Citadel and then closed herself in her quarters. Ashley and Kaidan both camped out at the mess hall table in hopes of grabbing her if she emerged, and the rest of the ground team all stopped by to join them at one point or another, but her doors never opened.

Ashley wasn't even remotely surprised when, the moment they docked at the Citadel, Shepard announced a 24 hour shore leave. The doors to her cabin never opened, though.

"Go on," Ashley told Kaidan, all but shooing him towards the airlock. "Enjoy yourself. I'll stay here in case she comes out."

Kaidan's gaze drifted toward Shepard's locked door. "But—"

"If she does come out, it'll probably be better if she isn't ambushed by all of us," Ashley said. "You know that I'm right, LT."

For a second or two, Ashley thought that he was going to argue with her. Then he nodded, even if it was a little reluctant, and let her shove him in the direction of the stairs.

"The same goes for you, T'Soni," Ashley called over her shoulder.

Kaidan stopped mid-step and blinked in surprise.

An embarrassed-looking Liara slipped into view from where she'd been standing just out of their sight from the mess hall table. "I was just—" She trailed off, her face growing a darker shade of blue as she flushed.

"I know," Ashley said, giving her what she hoped was a reassuring smile. 106 or not, it had become increasingly clear over the past month or so that the asari hadn't been kidding when she'd said that she was barely more than a kid. Ashley couldn't help but be reminded of her younger sisters, especially at times like this.

Kaidan and Liara both stood there, shuffling their feet, and Ashley rolled her eyes. "I mean it, get out of here," she said, gesturing a bit more wildly than she'd intended with her hands. "Go get some drinks or go out to eat or whatever it is that the two of you do on your downtime."

Liara bit her lip. "Are you—"

"Absolutely," Ashley cut in. "I'm 100% certain. Now go!"

She thought, for a second or two, that they still weren't going to leave. Then the doors to the medical bay opened and Dr. Chakwas walked out. The doctor stopped just outside, the doors closing behind her, as she looked over the scene in front of her with a curious look on her face.

"Oh," she said, sounding startled. "I was certain that I would be the last person off the ship, but it appears that I was mistaken."

"Alenko and T'Soni were just leaving," Ashley said quickly. "I'm sure they'd love to walk up to the airlock with you. Maybe even join you for a drink or something?"

Chakwas smiled. "That would be lovely," she said, glancing between Kaidan and Liara. "I don't want to impose, though."

"Not at all, doctor," Kaidan said quickly, offering her his arm. Chakwas graciously took it. "I think that I owe you at least a couple of drinks by now."

"As do I," Liara said, hurrying over.

Ashley shot them all a bright grin. "Have fun!"

The three of them started to walk off, and Ashley let her somewhat forced grin fade. Then Chakwas glanced behind her and gave Ashley a not-even-remotely-subtle wink.

Ashley felt her mouth drop open.

She stood there for a second, gaping, as they disappeared from sight. Then, shaking her head, she walked back over to the mess hall table and dropped back into the chair she'd claimed hours earlier. Her book of poetry sat where she'd left it, and she quickly settled back in to reading.

Looking back, Ashley wasn't certain how much time had passed. It was easy to get lost in poetry. She suspected it had been at least a few hours, long enough for Shepard to be convinced that the ship was empty save for the skeleton crews up in the CIC and down in engineering, but she didn't really know for certain.

However long it had been, she was startled out of her reading by the sound of Shepard's door opening.

Ashley looked up immediately at the sound, just in time to catch Shepard's gaze as the commander came to an abrupt stop just outside the door. It whooshed closed behind her as Shepard stood there, staring blankly at her.

"Skipper," Ashley said, trying to keep her voice casual.

"Ashley," Shepard replied, after a few seconds' pause. "I didn't expect anyone to be out here."

Ashley shrugged, but she didn't say anything. She'd heard the accusation in Shepard's voice, but if Shepard wasn't going to point-blank say anything then neither was she.

Shepard closed her eyes, as if she was trying to make up her mind on something. Ashley could hear the shaky breath she let out, even as far away as she was.

Then Shepard opened her eyes again and met Ashley's gaze. "I was going to steal a bottle of whiskey from Dr. Chakwas's secret stash," she said. "Care to join me?"

Ashley smiled. "The three Bs, huh?"

It took a second, but Shepard slowly smiled back. If it was a little watery, Ashley pointedly ignored it. "The three Bs."

*

A little over halfway through the bottle of whiskey that they'd pilfered from Chakwas, Shepard's biotics flared up.

For the last few hours, Shepard had been alternating between telling stories about people from her unit on Akuze and describing in loving detail how she'd like to make Cerberus pay for everything they did to them. Every now and then, Ashley would chime in with a story about someone back in the 212, but for the most part she'd been letting Shepard do the talking.

Both of them were well on their way to being completely hammered. They started out with Ashley sitting in Shepard's chair and Shepard sitting on her bed, but by the time they'd made it through half the bottle it had seemed wiser for them to move to the floor. Shepard was sitting crosslegged, with her back resting on her bed, while Ashley had her legs up in front of her. She wasn't leaning against anything, not yet, but the way she was starting to sway made her think that maybe she should consider it.

"I should have killed him," Shepard said, and for a second she sounded lost.

Ashley blinked a few times. She'd apparently missed something. "Killed who?"

"That scientist," Shepard said, frowning. She waved her hands around in front of her. "Back on Ontarom. I should have let Toombs have that much. I should have killed that bastard for him, instead of just taking him into custody."

It took a second or two for Ashley to find the words she wanted to say, thanks to the alcohol running through her system. She wanted to tell Shepard that she was wrong. That killing that scientist wouldn't have made things better. That the fact that she hadn't killed him was part of the thing that made her so amazing.

Before she could say any of it, she felt herself go sliding across the room as something bright blue flashed in front of her eyes.

Ashley didn't hit the opposite wall with much force, but the sudden movement mixed with the alcohol in her system meant she went sprawling onto the floor nonetheless. A few strands of hair that had slipped out of her bun fell down into her face, and she blinked at them.

"Ashley!"

Two strong arms were around her before she even knew what was happening, and she found herself suddenly sitting up. The world spun dizzily around her, and it took a second or two for her to figure out that Shepard was staring at her with a panic-stricken look on her face from just a few inches away.

Ashley frowned. "Did you just throw me across the room?"

"I didn't mean to!" Shepard shot back, still looking a bit panicked. "I'm so sorry, Ashley. I haven't lost control like that since—I'm sorry!"

Shepard's face was still just a few inches away, her eyes wide. Ashley stared at her for a second, swaying just a little in place despite the fact that Shepard had reached out to steady her. Or possibly because of the fact that Shepard had reached out to steady her, since Shepard wasn't exactly doing that well herself when it came to balance.

For the first time since they'd met on Eden Prime, Ashley _really_ noticed just how gorgeous Shepard was. And a distant part of her brain, thankfully one that was being kept well in check by the part of her that was still clinging desperately to sobriety, wanted to just lean forward those two or three inches and kiss her.

"I think," Ashley said slowly, "that it might be a good idea if we stop drinking now."

Shepard gave her a very serious nod. "I think you might be right."

It took quite a bit of effort on both of their parts to get themselves pulled to their feet. They ended up clinging to each other quite a bit as they stumbled across the room.

The plan had been to let Shepard collapse onto her own bed, and then Ashley would try to stumble her way out to one of the sleeper pods. By the time they made it to Shepard's bed, though, that plan had already been thrown out.

Shepard collapsed onto her bed without loosening her grip on Ashley's arm, pulling her down onto it with her. The next thing she knew, Shepard was spooned up against her chest, and she just couldn't force herself to find the energy to move.

(Both of them were a little embarrassed the next morning, when they woke up to find themselves all but wrapped around each other on Shepard's tiny bed. Then the realization that they both had hangovers from hell kicked in, and embarrassment was the last thing on their minds.)

*

There was an empty seat at the mess hall table.

Ashley stared at it, and for a second she could almost see Kaidan sitting there. It didn't seem right that they were so damn close to finally stopping Saren—or dying in the attempt, a more cynical part of her mind pointed out—but he wasn't here to see it. It just wasn't fair.

"Ashley?"

Ashley looked up in surprise at the sound of Shepard's voice. The commander was standing a few feet away, dark circles under her eyes and a tired look on her face.

"Shepard?" Ashley asked, trying to push aside her surprise. "What are you doing out here? I thought you'd be trying to get some rest before we hit Ilos."

Shepard's gaze drifted past Ashley to rest on the empty chair that she'd been staring at. "I tried," she said, shrugging a bit. "It didn't really work."

"Tell me about it," Ashley muttered before she could stop herself.

Shepard didn't smile, not really, but something around her eyes lightened just a little. "Mind if I join you?" she asked.

Ashley shook her head. "My crappy coffee is your crappy coffee," she said, gesturing at the pot that she'd brought over to the table with her. It technically wasn't allowed but, considering all of the other laws and regulations that they'd broken in the past day or so, she was willing to risk it.

"You really know how to treat a girl special," Shepard said, shaking her head. She walked over to the table, her hand resting on the back of the empty chair across from Ashley for a second. Then, after a short hesitation, she kept walking around the table and instead sat down in the one next to Ashley.

Without saying a word, Ashley poured Shepard a cup of coffee. Shepard raised an eyebrow when she noticed that Ashley had already had an empty mug sitting there, waiting, but she didn't say anything.

The two of them sat there in companionable silence until Joker's voice came over the comms a half hour or so later, letting Shepard know that they were coming up on the Mu Relay.

*

Shepard had been dead for a year.

Ashley took a sip of her drink, watching a news report airing over the nearby bar out of the corner of her eye. Shepard's image was on the screen. She couldn't hear the audio, not from her table, but she could imagine what it was probably about, some colony or another wanting to put up a memorial for a great hero that had never even stepped foot there.

_It's not fair._

Even after all this time, it was hard for her to keep those words out of her mind for long. Because it wasn't. Shepard had been a survivor, like her. She'd lived despite the odds, time after time after time. It didn't seem right that she could be gone, just like that. One minute she'd been there on the _Normandy_ , yelling at Ashley and ordering her to get her ass to a lifepod. And then, just like that, she'd been gone, without even a body to put to rest. As if she'd never even been there at all.

Ashley took a larger swallow of her drink, grimacing a bit as it burned its way down her throat.

She owed Shepard everything. _Everything._ She hadn't found out until after the memorial service for all those lost over Alchera that Shepard had put in a recommendation for her to get a promotion, sometime in the month between Shepard saving the Council and those ungrateful bastards sending her to her death. That for the first time, when people heard the name Williams, they thought of the soldier who helped save the Citadel rather than the one who surrendered on Shanxi.

When the _Normandy_ had been destroyed, Ashley had lost everything. Her friend. Her commander. The woman she had been willing to follow into hell itself.

"To you, Skipper," Ashley said softly, holding her glass up in the air. For just a second, she thought that she could see someone sitting in the empty chair across from her. Someone with black hair and cocoa-colored skin and a smile that could light up Ashley's world.

Then she blinked, and the chair was empty.

*

When she'd first seen Shepard on Horizon, Ashley had thought for a second or two that she'd finally lost her mind. It hadn't been until Shepard's arms had been wrapped around her in a tight hug that she'd finally accepted that maybe, just maybe, it really was her.

Except if it was her, that meant the rumors were right and she was working for Cerberus. And Ashley's mind just couldn't reconcile the woman who'd drunk herself into a stupor after Ontarom, yelling and cursing at Cerberus for hours, with someone who would willingly work for them. So she'd let her emotions get the best of her and said the first thing that had come to mind, without stopping to think about whether or not she really meant it.

She still regretted what she'd said even now, almost three months later.

Sighing, Ashley looked at the half-finished message that she'd started and stopped a hundred times since Horizon. She hadn't known what to say, she _didn't_ know what to say, but she knew without a doubt that the longer she put off speaking to Shepard then the worse it was going to be when she eventually did. And she knew, without a doubt, that at some point she would.

They'd been friends, once upon a time. Ashley owed her a chance to explain.

A light started flashing on the side of her screen, alerting her of an incoming message, and she brought it up without even glancing at the sender. She'd heard from Lynn just the day before, but she was due updates from the rest of her family. Not to mention the fact that Anderson had mentioned that he'd be contacting her with a new assignment soon as well.

A familiar face came up on the screen in front of her, and Ashley felt her breath catch in her throat. It wasn't her mother or any of her sisters. It wasn't Anderson. It wasn't even Liara or Tali or any of her other former crewmates from the _Normandy_ , whose calls had been becoming more and more sporadic in recent months.

It was Shepard.

"Ashley," Shepard said, a startled look on her face. "I didn't—I wasn't expecting you to answer."

It took everything Ashley had to keep the surprise off of her face. "Shepard," she said. "I'm, uh, a little surprised to see you, to be honest."

Shepard's eyes narrowed in suspicion. "You didn't look to see who was calling before you answered, did you?"

For a second or two, Ashley was tempted to deny it. Shepard knew her well enough, though, that she wouldn't believe any excuses she could make.

"Well, you know me," Ashley said, giving her a weak shrug.

The corners of Shepard's mouth twisted up into a smile, and Ashley felt something in her chest lighten. She couldn't help but smile back.

"I'm sorry, Shepard," she blurted out suddenly. It overlapped with Shepard's: "Ash, I'm sorry."

They both blinked at each other for a moment. Then, despite herself, Ashley started to chuckle. A moment later, Shepard did too.

For a minute, it was as if Ashley had stepped back in time over two-and-a-half years. If she didn't look too closely at Shepard's face, where the scar that had gone across her nose had disappeared and been replaced with a few red lines that glowed ever so slightly in the dim light of wherever Shepard was right now, she could almost imagine that they were back on the _Normandy_. That Kaidan was about to walk in at any moment, having a heated argument with Pressly, while Garrus fiddled with the Mako and Tali played with the engine and Liara hid in her little office behind the medical bay and Wrex kept accepting challenges from burly marines who didn't have enough sense not to fight a krogan hand-to-hand.

Then, slowly, Shepard's face grew serious again. "I just—" she trailed off, and for only the third time that Ashley could remember, she looked almost nervous. "I wanted to say—"

The rumors she'd heard, and the little bit that Anderson had told her, and the handful of things that Shepard had said back on Horizon all came crashing together in Ashley's head. Ashley sucked in a sudden breath. "You're going through the Omega 4 Relay," she said, well aware that she wasn't hiding anything in her voice. "This was supposed to be a goodbye message."

Shepard looked away, not quite meeting her gaze. "We'll be there within the hour."

Ashley stared at the screen, studying Shepard's face— _really_ studying it—for the first time in over two years. Physically, Shepard didn't look any different, except for the missing scar. It was as if she hadn't aged at all in the past two years which, if what she'd said back on Horizon was true, then she hadn't. There were circles under her eyes that Ashley had only seen in the worst days of their mission against Saren, though, and the glowing red scars gave an eerie, otherworldly look.

"You are planning on coming back out afterwards, right?" Ashley asked, trying her best to keep her voice steady.

Shepard gave her a weak smile. "That's the plan," she agreed. "My team's good, Ash. They're ready. I just don't know what's going to be waiting for us on the other side."

"Whatever it is, Skipper, it won't stand a chance against you," Ashley said.

Shepard blinked, an unreadable look on her face for a second. Then she grinned, a real grin, and Ashley thought that she could stare at her face forever. "I know that we have a ways to go, if I make it back," Shepard said, and Ashley couldn't quite place the emotion she could hear in her voice. "But I'm glad that I called."

"So am I, Shepard," Ashley replied. She tilted her head a bit as she studied Shepard's face, trying to figure out exactly what it was that she was seeing and hearing in it.

Shepard reached out and touched the screen. Without even pausing to think about it, Ashley did the same on her end. For just a second, if she used her imagination, she could almost imagine that she felt a warm hand touching hers.

In a voice barely more than a whisper, Shepard said: "Goodbye, Ashley."

The screen went black.

"See you soon, Shepard," Ashley whispered back.

*

When would she learn to keep her fucking mouth shut?

Not for the first time since they'd arrived on Mars, Ashley mentally berated herself. She'd thought that she had put aside most of her issues with Shepard and her time with Cerberus over the months since Shepard had surrendered herself to the Alliance, but apparently not. She had started digging herself into a pit from the very beginning of the mission, and every time she tried to pull herself out she'd just made it worse.

"Are you okay?" she asked, helping Liara to her feet.

Liara nodded, although the fact that she was grimacing and holding her side suggested otherwise, and Ashley took a second to glance around. Vega had made a mess of the shuttle, but he'd at least brought down the Cerberus ship. She could see Shepard pulling herself to her feet on the other side of it, and a hint of worry that she hadn't even realized had been building started to fade away.

And then everything seemed to happen in slow motion.

The sound of scraping metal came from behind her, and Ashley spun around. The doctor they'd been chasing was stepping out of the crashed Cerberus shuttle, her skin burned away to reveal gleaming metal. A synthetic. A damned synthetic. No wonder they'd had so much trouble with her.

Ashley shoved Liara behind her and brought up her gun. She thought that she heard Shepard yell something behind her, but she didn't stop to find out what it might be. She just kept shooting, trying to put the synthetic down.

Then, suddenly and without any warning, it was right in front of her. She felt metal hands on her face, warmed from the heat of the explosion, and she heard what sounded like voices over comms.

The synthetic looked at her, expressionless, not a hint of humanity on its face. Somewhere in the distance, Shepard screamed her name. She thought that maybe, out of the corner of her eye, she saw the blue of biotics.

The back of her head slammed against unyielding metal. Once, then twice. Blinding pain shot through her, a bright light flashing in front of her eyes, and then the world went dark.

*

Ashley stared at Shepard, their gazes meeting straight on for the first time in longer than she could remember. For a moment, everything else around them disappeared. The councilors were still there: Sparatus and Tevos trusting her judgment, Udina blustering and making accusations. Behind Shepard, Garrus and Liara both had their guns trained on her.

Shepard's gun was aimed at her too, but that unreadable _something_ was in her eyes again, the same thing that Ashley had seen only a few times before.

 _Trust me_ , Shepard had said. _Trust me, Ash._

Three years ago, Ashley had trusted Shepard with her life a hundred times over. They weren't the same people they had been back then, neither of them. Both of them had changed. But—

—but Ashley still wanted to believe in her.

Ashley knew the moment that Shepard realized what she was about to do. She could see it in Shepard's eyes, the way they widened ever so slightly. "I'm gonna regret this," she said quietly, bringing her gun down so that it wasn't trained on Shepard.

Then she spun around and aimed it instead at Udina.

Behind her, she thought that she heard Shepard whisper: "No, you're not."

*

The universe was crumbling around them. Worlds were falling like dominoes to the Reapers' forces. Everyone in the galaxy was depending on Shepard and the crew of the _Normandy_ to save them all.

And Ashley Williams, the second human Spectre, kept tripping over her own tongue like a teenager with a crush.

"That's it," James said, throwing down his cards in disgust. "I'm out."

Beside him, Steve let out an amused snort. "Better late than never."

James glared at him. "Shut up, Esteban," he muttered.

Steve grinned. "Come on now, Mr. Vega, what happened to your sportsmanlike spirit?"

Ashley snorted. "If I'd lost that many credits, I wouldn't have much of a sportsmanlike spirit either."

James turned his glare onto her.

"James, stop distracting Ashley," Shepard said, wagging her finger disapprovingly at him. "Unlike some people, she's still playing."

Ashley rolled her eyes. "Answer me honestly, Shepard," she said. "Did you just invite me back onto the _Normandy_ for the sole purpose of robbing me blind in Skyllian-Five?"

Shepard wagged her eyebrows. "Would I do something like that, Ash?"

Ashley stared at her, narrowing her eyes.

Shepard shot her an overly innocent look back.

Ashley couldn't help but burst out laughing, and Shepard joined in a second later.

On the other side of the table, Steve elbowed James pointedly in the side. "Come on, Mr. Vega," he said, pulling himself to his feet. "You owe me a glass of mezcal. Let's leave these two to finish their game."

James spluttered as he stood up and started following Steve out of the room. Shepard's eyes were warm as she watched them leave, and Ashley couldn't help but smile.

Then Shepard turned her attention back toward Ashley, that warm look still on her face. "It's your turn."

Ashley blinked. "What?"

"The game," Shepard said, her mouth twitching a little as if she was trying to hide a grin. "It's your turn. Are you going to call or fold?" Her mouth twitched again. "Or maybe raise?"

If Ashley was honest, she'd completely forgotten they were even _playing_ poker. She couldn't have told someone what was in her hand even if her life had been at stake.

She tried not to flush as she quickly looked at the cards in her hand, trying to remember where they'd left off before James had folded. She didn't think that she quite succeeded, judging by the way that Shepard snorted.

"I'll call."

Shepard raised an eyebrow. "Your funeral," she said. Then she grinned, and it was the type of grin that meant she was about to do something insane, like drive the Mako straight up a sheer cliff face or fight a thresher maw on foot.

Ashley wasn't even remotely surprised when Shepard laid down her hand to reveal four eights.

"Four of a kind," Shepard said, smirking as if she just knew that she'd won.

She was already reaching out to grab her winnings when Ashley covered her hands with her own left hand. Shepard met her gaze, frowning a little, and Ashley wagged her finger at her with her free hand.

Then she put her own cards down on the table.

Shepard's gaze dropped down to the table.

"Straight flush," Ashley said, not even attempting to hide the crow of victory in her voice. "I win!"

Shepard kept staring at the table, an unreadable expression on her face.

Ashley's grin slowly faded as Shepard didn't look up. She narrowed her eyes, following Shepard's gaze. Then she realized that her hand was still resting on top of Shepard's.

Which was exactly what Shepard was staring at.

Ashley jerked her hand away as if it was on fire. Shepard looked up then, and they stared at each other.

That unreadable look was on Shepard's face again, but this time? This time, Ashley thought that she might understand it at least a little.

"I win," Ashley repeated, softer this time.

The corners of Shepard's mouth turned up. "Oh, Ash," she said, just as quietly. "Haven't you figured out yet that you always do?"

*

Looking back, Ashley wasn't entirely certain how they made it from the poker table in the lounge up to Shepard's quarters. It was a blur of hurried kisses and hands in new places, and she had the sinking feeling that she'd heard a few wolf whistles somewhere between the lounge and the elevator.

(It was James, she learned later, not that she was even remotely surprised to get that confirmation. Although apparently Garrus had joined in with the turian equivalent as well, at least according to Tali. Who had recorded it with her omni-tool.

They had the best friends. Or possibly the worst. It was hard to tell, at times.)

"I've wanted to do this for months," Shepard gasped out between kisses, the words murmured against Ashley's lips.

Ashley chuckled, kissing her back. "Months?" she asked breathlessly. "I've wanted to do this for years."

"Overachiever," Shepard murmured, shoving Ashley up against the wall. "You always have to get the last word."

Ashley shuddered a little as Shepard pressed her body close against her own, then she laughed and pressed a few kisses against Shepard's neck. "Well, you know me," she said, one of her hands slipping under Shepard's shirt. Shepard's breathing hitched as Ashley found her intended target. "I like to win."

There wasn't much need for words after that point.


End file.
